General · Satire

A little tough love from your TBR pile.

Language warning: Contains expletives. Hide your mother.

Hey. Hi. Hello.

Can I have your attention please?

Push your coke-bottle eyeglasses up your nose and notice me, you freakin’ nerd. Can’t you see how big I’m becoming? Ease the pain a little, you dipshit. Read a book from me instead of laughing at random cat videos, ya hear me?

WAIT A MINUTE. Is that another book? You’re still buying books? Really?

200

Which part of “self-imposed book buying ban until I finish all the books on my TBR list” did you not understand, you factory-reject dildo? Is your resolve really that weak?

2001

Oh and don’t even get me started about your review policy.

Your blog “is accepting books and galleys for review”? Really, jackass? Aren’t you forgetting a teeny-tiny little thing? Something you shouldn’t be forgetting? ME, YOU SNOT-NOSED SHITBAG! Finish me first. Beg for ARCs later.

And while we’re at it, can you please finish the ARCs in my pile first? There are authors waiting to hear what you think about their books, but all your sorry ass does is binge watch lame TV shows on Netflix, correct?

200w1

Listen up, phlegm bucket. Stop being such a bumder. You need to finish these books, you hear me? Do you want me to be a little louder so that you’ll understand, Ms. Shit-for-brains? No? Okay, cool.

Oh and, one last thing:

200w

 

~ Shruti

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35 thoughts on “A little tough love from your TBR pile.

  1. Oh my, you are SO GOOD at picking random expletives and derogatory terms xD I would quite enjoy a book if you wrote one πŸ˜€ you are hilarious. Or maybe stand up comedy? You’d be so good!

    That said, I have been pondering to check the state of my TBR at the end of the year. Goodreads makes it easy for me, cause I’ve sorted all my owned ones into shelves, so I can just check the number. However, as you might have figured, I don’t really want to πŸ˜€

    That Mario GIF XDDD

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I know, it would take loads of backbone, to stand in front of everyone and joke πŸ™‚ I totally wouldn’t be able to πŸ™‚
        Mental TBR xD that’s a nice way of doing it πŸ˜€ ignorance is bliss, or so they say… not knowing your actual numbers is probably a good thing, at some point xD

        Liked by 1 person

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