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5 ways you should not react when that annoying friend says they don’t read.

If, like yours truly, you’re a bookworm, you probably lead with talking about your love for books while trying to make friends as an adult. In response to your almost incoherent gushing about how books are your babies, some people smile and nod. Some say a long-drawn-out “nice”, the only response they have to almost everything.

And then there’s that one person. One annoying person.

This person’s never touched a book in their entire life and they proudly declare so. Now, when you hear this, a number of responses may run through your head. And the following are ways in which you should NOT react.

1. Don’t bash their skull in with the biggest hardcover you own.

2. Don’t chalk a pentagram around them and call them the Devil.

And no. No holy water. Absolutely none.

3. Don’t whip your wand out and try to jinx them.

And no, don’t even think of shoving your wand up their nose when the spell doesn’t work.

4. Don’t bite their neck and say they’ve been converted into a bookworm now.

Vampires aren’t real, you idiot.

5. Don’t put them in a choke hold and read them pages from The Holy Book.

I meant Harry Potter, of course.

So go forth, little one! Be good in parties and make sure you don’t harm any of the lesser citizens who don’t read. Oh and don’t call them “lesser citizens” out loud. What are you, nuts?

 

~ Shruti

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51 thoughts on “5 ways you should not react when that annoying friend says they don’t read.

  1. I feel like doing ALL OF THE ABOVE + a lot lot more. And the teenage versions of these ‘cool’ people are just SO. SMUG. It’s like they’ve climbed Everest the way they proudly say “oh, I don’t READ.”
    And someone from my class ACTUALLY asked me why I read when I can watch the movie, and the movies are “cheaper” and you get the “visuals” too.
    I have to physically restrain myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahaha, but these are just so hard to resist! Can I at least threaten to never talk to them again until they read a book or two? Is that acceptable? 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh God. An acquaintance once told me that reading was pointless and a waste of time. He KNOWS I’m a lit student. Why would he say that to me of all people?!?

    …My friend wouldn’t let me fight him. 😦 I could have taken him!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ahahaha love this, you made me giggle while riding to work 😂😂 (nope. No worries, im not the driver)

    Specially love the no.1!! Ahaha but I have a problem to that one anyway; I only have one hardcover… so might not be so heavy.. 🙈

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s always their smugness that bugs me. As though deliberately cutting yourself off from so much entertainment/emotion/education is a good thing to do.
    I really do need to learn how to use a wand properly!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. People say this to me often, but I interpret it as them knowing I’m a writer and not wanting to share WHAT kinds of stuff they actually read. I consider reading comics reading. I mean, I adore fan fiction and even write it, lol

    Liked by 1 person

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