Off Tangent Thoughts (OTT) is a kickass meme my girl Charvi of Not Just Fiction fame started.
“Off Tangent Thoughts(OTT) is a bi-monthly meme that has a basic list-based format wherein bloggers express their points in the form of a short or long list with the points under the list being merely a couple lines or even complete paragraphs. Bloggers are also free to use headings or bring in other variations- put your own spin on it if you like. After all it’s just about letting your thoughts run wild!”
This week’s prompt is “Thoughts you have when someone interrupts your reading”.
I missed the first two tags because I’m the absolute worst™ but I’m here this time.
…mostly because C virtually dragged me kicking and screaming to my laptop to do this.
You see, if I write all my murderous plans here, people will be on guard, ya feel? Because, boy, do I have plans for people who interrupt my reading.
The 5 extremely specific ways in which I will kill you if you ever interrupt my reading
1. Have you heard of War and Peace, sweetheart? The 1392 page-long, life-affirming masterpiece?
Yup, I will take that beautiful novel and whack it on your head repeatedly until you die.
2. Do you know how books with mould and mildew smell? Aww, don’t worry if you don’t. You’re gonna get extremely familiar with it, ya know, as I slowly smother you to death with it.
3. The prettiest edition of Fahrenheit 451 is the one with the spine made of match striking paper. And I always have a matchbox on me.
Oh, you wanna know why I’m talking about this? I’m going set your head on fire, of course! Adios, baby!
4. Did you know I’m not a big fan of J.K. Rowling anymore? But that I own a shitload of Harry Potter merchandise that I have no idea how to use? Yeah, one of those pretty wands is going to shoved so far down your throat, you’ll be shitting jinxes for a month. If you don’t choke on it and die first, that is.
5. There may be no music playing but still, I had earphones on so nosy pricks like you would leave me alone. And yet, you chose to interrupt my reading anyway.
Do you know what happens to interrupters like your bony ass?
They get strangled. With earphones.
Hang on, I have a secret option number 6.
And it’s gory.
It’s insane.
It’s wicked.
Would you like to know what it is?
Interrupt my reading to find out, yo.
~ Shruti
Wow! Hilarious. Seriously, you own a hardback whose spine is made of match-striking paper? 😛
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t tell anyone, but I don’t. 🤭 I’ve just been eyeing it for a long time now. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha the Home Alone gif included here killed me!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It didn’t kill Merv, though. 🤭
…I take my holiday movies too seriously. Watching Home Alone is a yearly tradition for me. 😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yikes, I meant Harry. I guess it’s time for a rewatch if I’m confusing the two guys. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t see you being so violent 😛 But being interrupted while reading can do that to a person
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay listen I’m going to screenshot this and send this to all my friends. 🤭
I’m a pretty short-tempered person, so you shouldn’t put this past me. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
short tempered doesn’t necessarily mean psychotic 😛
LikeLiked by 1 person
True, true! 😛
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol… I LOVE this article, Shruti:)). I HATE being interrupted whenever I’m doing anything – but particularly READING!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Same! I’m the kind of person who starts arguments over being interrupted.
…yes, I’ve been called high maintenance before. 😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
Psht! I refute that! You are merely enforcing your personal boundaries…:))
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, that I can deal with. xD
LikeLiked by 1 person
:))
LikeLiked by 1 person
I LOVE this article, Shruti – I always hate being interrupted, but especially when I’m reading:))
LikeLiked by 1 person
Omg I’m so late to this post but wow I see that dark Shruti has risen from her Slytherin corner to plot murder and I love it 💞😍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahaha yassss Slytherin pride! 🐍 🐍
LikeLike
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Loved it 😀
I never want to know about the 6th option 😛
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, thanks so much, Sim! ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Should we be worried about how well-thought-out these plans are??? Hahaha! I love this post! And the GIF at the beginning is absolutely perfect! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Worried? Nah, not at all.
*looks at anything else except Jenn*
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂😂😂
LikeLiked by 1 person