Welcome to part two of my chaotic reaction to and recap of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians books. A lot of you seemed to enjoy my recap of The Lightning Thief, going so far as to request more (???). I am but a vehicle to fulfil my followers’ every whim and fancy and the views help so here’s my recap of The Sea of Monsters.

I know my previous post was just an elaborate ruse to cancel Algebra teachers but let’s see if I can summon the will to write a proper recap this time without going off on tangents. No promises, though!

Also read: A Sassy Recap of The Lightning Thief.

As always, major spoilers, don’t read on if you haven’t finished the book yet, yada yada yada.

The Sea of Monsters: A Recap.

This book, much like me recounting my life to unsuspecting strangers, begins with the line “My nightmare started like this.” In it, Percy dreams of his friend Grover being chased by a monster. When he wakes up, it’s a normal day but, well… not for long.

It’s Percy’s last day of school before he can make it to Camp Half-Blood for the summer. He’s even made a new friend Tyson, a homeless kid who apparently lives in a refrigerator box down a dark alley. Honestly, the more Tyson we got in this book, the more my “must protect” instincts kicked in. He’s such an adorable little…ahem…kid.

Simp Percy in the Sea of Monsters?!

The dude really printed out a picture of Annabeth that she had EMAILED him and popped it inside his textbook? Ugh, he’s probably not even going to realize he has a crush on her for the next few years, probably not even till she points it out because she carries the entire deductive reasoning skills in this series. Well, for the most part.

The fandom waiting 84 years for the penny to drop:

Back to the story.

Like gym class is not already torture enough, Percy and Tyson get attacked by Lystragonians. Annabeth appears out of nowhere to save them and we can of course believe it because she’s the only way Seaweed Brain is ever going to get out of a tricky situation.

On escaping, the trio hail the Taxi of Eternal Torment which is also what I, a lesser mortal, have been on my entire life. Strap on, b*tches!

This chariot of damnation is driven by three sisters who share a single eyeball amongst the three of them. Heh, just like how my sister and I share a single brain cell. #RelatableContent.

What’s up at camp, anyway?

They arrive to a camp in disarray and spy Clarisse and co. fighting a pair of Colchis bulls. With Tyson’s help, they are able to defeat the bulls. Once the fighting is over, Annabeth reveals that in addition to being MY baby, Tyson is also a baby Cyclops which is why he was able to withstand the heat of the bulls.

Clarisse, as per usual, remains snarky and informs them that Chiron is no longer the Activities Director. He was fired because someone’s poisoned Thalia’s tree which guards the camp and he had to take the blame.

In his place, the Greek God Tantalus is hired. Ya know, the guy who was punished to go forever thirsty and hungry for the mild infarction of stealing Ambrosia from the Gods. Geez, they really need to take a chill pill. Incidentally, asking the Gods to get that stick out of their butts is probably why I will be thrown into Tartarus.

Tantalus: A theory

Also, *taps mic* I have a few thoughts about Tantalus’ punishment of having food and drink in front of him but never being able to touch it.

Two words.

Diet culture!

Not only is Tantalus denying his body of the nutrients it needs, some of the side effects of restrictive eating are increased stress and irritability (amongst WAY more problematic things) so NO WONDER he’s being such an incompetent toe rag instead of keeping the kids safe! Give the guy some food!

*jumps off soapbox*

Orrr you know, he’s just a dick like all the other Gods, and Kronos and his Kronies (see what I did there?) do have a point in wanting to end Western civilisation.

Wasn’t that a fun little tangent to go on?

*Struggles to come back to the point*

Ah yes, Camp Half-Blood.

Is the Fleece the answer?

After a brief chariot race and an attack by demon pigeons — you know, normal camp stuff — Tantalus sets the rules that no one can leave camp without permission. Meanwhile, Percy and Annabeth figure out that The Golden Fleece can heal Thalia’s tree and it’s probably in the same island where Grover has been trapped as well. And by a Cyclops of all monsters. I see what you did there by introducing Tyson in this book, Uncle Rick!

Annabeth and Percy decide they need a quest to retrieve the Fleece and bring it up during dinnertime in front of everyone. Of course putting him on the spot makes Tantalus angry (hangry?) but he can’t exactly deny the quest, can he? Instead, he pulls a reverse UNO card and says the quest is all good but offers it to Clarisse as prize for winning the chariot race instead.

Actual footage of Percy right after:

Some Godly intervention.

While moping around at the beach after dinner, Percy runs into Hermes who urges him go find the Fleece himself even if it isn’t exactly authorised. He also gifts Percy what’s definitely stolen from packages he should actually be delivering to senior homes — a thermos and multivitamins. Is he also gonna give him a pair of knitting needles and glasses to perch at the end of his nose? Tut tut.

Annabeth and Tyson also join Percy and the trio board the Princess Andromeda, a cruise ship, before the Harpies can find them and chop them to pieces. Again, normal camp stuff.

Once they board the ship however, they find it captained by Luke, their nemesis. He’s helping Kronos the Titan Lord build a new army of demigods to topple Olympus (again, I fully support this plan. Do it, king.). Kronos was chopped into pieces and thrown into Tartarus but he’s apparently slowly regaining strength as more half-bloods join their side.

Clarisse to the rescue!

The trio somehow manage to escape not only the ship but also their next obstacle, a Hydra. They end up being rescued by Clarisse in her Ghost ship helmed by dead Confederate soldiers. They sail towards the Bermuda Triangle because of course that’s where the Sea of Monsters is.

Side note: I’m glad Clarisse has a role to play in this book because I was really hating how she was written as just the big fat bully until now. Fatphobic much? There are still some comments about her size that I hate but I hope it gets better as the books progress. We don’t stan fatphobic books in this house.

Related: 11 Books With Fat Main Characters Releasing in 2021.

The kids island-hop for a bit.

They’re attacked by Scylla and Charybdis on the Sea of Monsters but Percy and Annabeth manage to escape to a neighbouring island with the help of the thermos Hermes gifted. It actually had a use, y’all!

Unfortunately, Clarisse and Tyson are missing. I staunchly refuse to believe anything’s happened to my fave, Tyson. He better come back soon. *Sniffs*

On the island, they meet Circe who takes a page out of Uncle Rick’s book and turns Percy into a literal guinea pig. Like our boy hasn’t been through enough already. Also I like Percy and all, but I also painfully relate to Circe. I too would like to turn men into snivelling guinea pigs, please and thank you.

And hey, Hermes’ gift actually comes in handy one more time! The multivitamins help Percy and the other guinea pigs turn back into their human forms. Percy and Annabeth escape on the Queen Anne’s Revenge and reach Polyphemus’ island where they hatch a plan to rescue Grover and also swipe the Golden Fleece.

Nobody’s got the fleece. Finally!

Grover’s been pretending to be a female Cyclops set to become Polyphemus’ bride this whole time, staving him off by saying he needs to make his own veil. Wait, that’s a way to delay weddings? Too bad the aunties asking me to get married soon aren’t also Cyclopes. Monsters, they are, but definitely not Cyclopes. Sad.

Anyway, Annabeth, Percy, and Clarisse (who’s also managed to survive!) rescue Grover and also defeat Polyphemus with Tyson’s help. Told ya he’ll return! Or Uncle Rick would have received a strongly worded letter from me I swear.

Florida Man is not so bad after all.

While on the way back to camp, they encounter Luke who reveals it was he who poisoned Thalia’s tree. Clarisse has already flown back with the fleece so at least he doesn’t get what he wanted.

Luke and Percy duel and our boy almost loses but they get interrupted by Chiron and his Centaur friends who all make up the Party Ponies: South Florida Chapter. Trust Florida to f*ck shit up! At least for good this time.

After escaping, the group heads back to camp to heal Thalia’s tree with the Fleece. And err, the Fleece does its job a bit too well.

The tree spits out Thalia.

What. A. Finish.

Can you imagine reading this ending and having to wait for the next book to release? Baby Shruti could never.

Anyway that’s all for my recap of The Sea of Monsters. I still don’t know exactly how much y’all like these recaps but I’m having fun writing them so let’s just go with it.

Let’s chat!

• Have you read The Sea of Monsters?
• Should I continue recapping the series?
• Will I be 80 by the time Percy realises he likes Annabeth?

Talk to me in the comments!